Friday, October 24, 2008

The Moon Maiden

Her eyes wander, search and pore
Seeking wonder, and peace once more
Desiring truth, wishing to be wise
Hoping for a day as this to rise...


I
The Garden


There are flowers everywhere: some planted on purpose and some servants of their own wild wantonness. The girl is fond of both, but this evening calls, in some indescribable way, for the latter. And so, after swinging the little wicker gate open and listening to the creaks die out as ever, she heads straight for the left corner of the garden, where her favourite flowers grow in profusion and a raw splendour of their own.

Once there she sits on the marble ledge and lets herself the deepest of breaths. The aroma gently enters her, and the smile that ignites her face moments later is proof enough that it fulfills her too. Her eyes, closed of course by now, open for a few moments and take a look around. She is surrounded by flowers of all the same variety, one which she is unaware of, despite all her worldly knowledge. They are lilac in colour, and black in fragrance. And just as every other time, she feels that there is no more to know of them, that this is all there is.

She closes her eyes again and turns her face upwards. Her hands, reclining on her lap thus far, slowly begin to rise. They stop a little above her midsection and it looks as if she beckons to the world to come see her and comprehend what she means when she says she is different. They stay like that for a few protracted seconds, and then move on, to her face and then over her head and outwards. Her lips part infinitesimally, and a sigh seems to escape them. This final state looks much more complete, much more the way she is meant to be. Her up-turned face seems to be talking to the evening Sky, and her hands appear to make a reasoned request... perhaps for it to take her away, or else, to come down and be her friend.

II
The Sky


I am dusk. I am red in hue and purple in purpose. I bring an end to brightness, but I promise not just the dark of night, but also the dawn to follow. I am good-hearted, and totally innocent.

Today, there is a girl sitting in a garden, asking me to aid her. I, the Sky wearing its twilight robes, by myself, can do nothing. But I do have messengers, agents who can symbolize assistance. Now, let me think what this girl can possibly find of help. The more I see her, the more I am reminded of something... someone, in fact. She looks a trifle removed from the rest, and I think I know her from someplace else... And... Oh! Of course! Sweet Master! How could I have missed it? Well... if that is the case... the solution is simple... but oh, let me stare some more, for a sight of such vaunted rarity is hardly one to let pass...

I think I should now progress to my task of finding her an aid, which, by the way, is the simplest of all the tasks I've had in my life as the Sky. This is hardly even a search, to be true. This is destiny, and there is nothing more decided than destiny. I scatter a handful of clouds and let the earth flood in half with silver, and I am done.

The girl's eyes open and meet me. Not me precisely, but the gift I just delivered: the Moon.

III
The Graveyard


Rest is passe. Rest is irrelevant. Rest is for those who aspire to live. His shadow is more solid than his self, and the evening has missed his presence completely. No more, though, for his stench will soon be unmistakable. It is a special night for him, simply phrased, but full of the joy of unquestioned power.

He floats to the end of his journey, blacker than thought and swifter than speed. The gates to the graveyard open of their own, for he has his own winds at command. A few yards inside, he finally lands, touching the earth with his fleshless feet, and setting an imperceptible tremor into action. His body takes tangible shape, and his quasi-human hands acquire a staff of symbolic finality. No vision can decipher him yet, but for those who will whenever he so desire, he wears a blameless hooded robe of the purest white, closed at the waist by an iridescent waistband . This is supposed contradiction, but true knowledge is scarce.

Silent as his winds he progresses, and reaches his corner of choice. The girl is seated on her gravestone already; his job has half been done. But his presence itself is testament to the occasion: this is no normal night, no commonplace end to the life of another day. No, he can't simply steal. He would have to do more. He would have to show this girl a dream from his land of lifeless imagination.

And so he does. Like lightning he picks her up, and touches her forehead with the tip of his staff, to take her away for the last time before omega. This act, as every other time he has had to visit this hateful place full of life, gives him a thrill beyond measure. He waits staring at the staff-tip, his invisible eyes burning with anticipation-- he is about to know whether he came in time...

A faint, quivering light awakens at the staff-tip, and his eyes glow in return. He was in time, after all-- as ever, and he now accepts this as his right. He now believes he can never not be in time, for he, the Angel of Death, is time.

With a wave and a flourish he takes her away, into her dream and his.

IV
The Dream


Her talk to the Moon interrupted with a smooth flash of surreality, the girl finds consciousness next in front of a brick structure she seems to remember. She is unable to strain her memory at present, though, so she reads her bearings instead. She is improbably dressed in white, but it is not the colour that is her primary reason for disbelief: she wears a bridal gown of exquisite make, simple and deadly in that very quality. Inspite of all her befuddlement, the girl smiles.

She looks up, and remembrance strikes like a clarion call. This is the building in the centre of the garden, the building that is in fact the cause the garden was built: the chapel.

There is no one around, no one to explain to her the happenings of the last few moments, but that seems no bother, for she knows there is just the one thing she can do. She takes a few steps forward and enters the chapel through its simple wooden doors.

It is dark inside, but the Moonlight filtering in through the high windows is enough for her to keep walking. Her left hand, by her sides thus far, now rises to display the bunch of black roses she carries: roses that not only smell of nothing in particular, but of nothing at all.

The aisle is reached, and her true walk begins.

At exactly the count of seven a choir starts to play. It is easy to recognize the song as a symphony of despair. Music never stays floating around the girl, and as she walks she lets the notes steal through her walls. In moments she begins to cry, but her sobs are inaudible even to herself, and she walks on.

As her legs take her forward, her life plays through her mind. Blinking sparks of memory and sentience show her the picture of her mother holding her crying after a failed examination, of the Virgin cradling baby Jesus in her arms, of her father entering the house with a puppy as her birthday gift, of the peace and unwavering faith in the illuminated eyes of the Magi painted on the ceiling, of her sister smiling and hugging her in return for her daily gift of picked flowers, of the twin candles by the Holy Sculpture burning with life and defiance, of the moment when she uncertainly kissed her first lover, and of the tales of holy love impressed on the chapel's windows. These images fill her with hope, and the girl feels less of her tears with every passing moment...

Soon the rows of pews are outnumbered by her steps, and the altar is upon her. She stops. Soaked with life by her tears, her gown has begun to glow. She is smiling still, and there is something decidedly wrong.

Behind the altar stands her groom, dressed in a suit of blameless white. She looks at him with her unfaltering smile, and his own, unshakable so far, falls a distinctly observable notch. The music turns sadder still, seemingly attempting to mask the growing incongruity. But to no avail, for the sum of the smiles has started to look constant as the guiding star. The rolling tears are constant too, but the girl seems not to care. She begins to walk again, and climbs the steps to the altar.

The groom relinquishes his stillness and approaches his bride. They meet in the centre of the space, and the music stops. The tears do too, and in the quiescence that follows, the marriage vows are silently exchanged, eye to eye. The man pronounces the girl his wife, and girl him her man. And then, in an absolute retraction of expectance, the girl pulls her groom by his suit and kisses his lipless mouth, seeming to drink his soul from him. The man, taken aback, recovers and kisses her back, for he believes this is still another fait accompli. With visible passion they stay intertwined, apparently consummated in matrimony. The groom's eyes, invisible till this moment, begin to smolder like embers in waiting. His task seems done.

The girl suddenly breaks away, still smiling, and the next instant pulls the curtain off the pinnacle of impossibility. Considering there is no crowd to receive her bouquet of black roses, she, with every ounce of force she can muster, thrusts its end into her groom's heart. Her fate seems fulfilled.

There is no blood, finally as expected, and the man falls without even a whisper. He has been defeated in a manner numb to belief. The altar resonates with a thud as he hits the ground, and lays on his back. The black roses protrude from his lifeless heart, and look infinitely more beautiful than his anguished countenance.

Death can't die, just as time, and so his pain is forever. The girl, looking down on the man she just married to destroy, keeps smiling. The music returns, and this time it is spring music.

V
Destiny


A garden one moment, a graveyard the next. A ledge in one world, a tombstone in another. And then a chapel in each. The dream is done, and the girl wakes up at the stroke of midnight, having had perhaps the most peaceful sleep of her life.

The Moon is shining still, and so is her smile. The Sky had erred in interpreting her call as pleading. Death had been wrong to think he had come in time. And if anyone had not been mistaken, it was the Maiden's Moon, when during their conversation as fated lovers, he had said--

"Death shall kiss you tonight, be sure to kiss it back."

It was only destiny that Death arrived the very next moment. Only destiny too, surely, that he perished in a dream of his very own desire. And perhaps, as the Sky had so fondly remarked, there is, in all we know, nothing more decided than destiny.

Presently, the Moon and his Maiden recline in voiceless conversation, and Death, equally silent, lays vanquished nearby in his flowered pool of bloodless ruin. And as the curtain to this tale descends, the night Sky, ever efficient in part, gently smiles, twinkles a smattering of stars, and looks on.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Love

Oh how I remember, and how can I not,
The fire inside the heart of that night...
That night, when you were the fire, and hot
Beat my heart, ignited by your sight...

Drunk loose on whiskey, the floor was taken
By people parading in countless pairs,
And I scarce remember how, and when
My girl acquired my woman's wares...

I left, and you came, still duly dressed--
For the ball on course some yards asunder--
That hardly lingered, as I had guessed,
And hardly left a lot to wonder...

Oh how I remember, now that I track,
The way I touched your arms at first,
And also how you touched me back
To let my binding bubbles burst...

Unlaced to bareness I took you in
My arms and let my fingers run
To places where they had never been
And traces that they had never done...

Madness, yes, that followed soon
And my lips were on their lawless tour
Your grace, oh yes, that was a boon
And your moans no less my cue for more...

Oh how I remember, my gusty excesses
And the wantonness of every wile
The lusting scratches, the cups and caresses
And the killing joy of kissing your smile...

In time you turned a party too,
And made me a toast of giddy delight...
With every stroke you struck it true...
With every rub you rose my might...

A treat it proved, lovely so,
And a specter when the night turned wise,
At last as you let my pleasures go
To the end, and their climactic surmise...

Oh how I remember, that brilliant pause,
When the coming cause met consent,
That moment, as how to murmured applause
Your depths accepted the love I meant...

Monday, October 20, 2008

My Silent Disarray (S#1)

When mornings gray from pouring skies, and eves
Surrender to the risk of hail and rain,
When drains spill over with earth, and sodden leaves
Remind me in parts of pleasure and pain,
When naked streets fall free of wand'ring feet
And let remain the hasty brollied heads,
When vision waves in dimly crystal beats
Of stupor laced with still reflective threads,
When lucid drops stream my staining window-
Glass, and wily winds lash it now and then,
When the world outside kins in close a show
And my clouded self scatters nascent ken,
Single I survey my thoughts take away
Through bliss, and ache, to silent disarray...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Two Angels on a Pin's Head

Angels, my angels, my maidens sweet
How come you dance in two?
My love, my hate, my nervous beat
How come they chance in you?

My lovely ladies, the wings I wed
How come you smile in turns?
My wishes parading on one pin's head
How come my still heart yearns?

My fiercest friends, my fondest foes
How come I know not which?
My twinkling stars, my gifts of rose
How come my white is pitch?

How come... how come...
How come you number two...
Speak, my angels...
Tell me which one is who...

Oh! I see, yes, now I see...
Your quiet oneness now I feel...
You're one for life, and one for me
And two for my pin-head's even keel...

My Id and my Ego, one each there lives in one of you...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Fallen Moon

I talk of a man who lived on a street, numbered sixty-nine
His life unlaced here in verse, a deed through every line...

In the shadows lingered this man, a stranger to sense and time
Forlorn, forsaken, blessed, but just with a bleeding rhyme...

The darkness was his angel of strength, his guide through every alley
And his friend alone his song, that terrible and tuneless melody...

His early days were lost in thoughts, all filled with death and strife
Walking soon was all he liked, and the night became his bread and life...

And so one night as deathly black as new, as he walked no course he cared
He struck a corner, swung to his right, and lo! the moon was bared!

To a man born on New Moon's Day, accustomed only to night
This was a shock, a haunting tragedy, an unbearably twisted sight...

Till when he opened his blinded eyes, and saw the girl in red
Standing still straddling the street, cradled in the Full moonshed...

Still dazed a little the man proceeded, humming on his only song
But the woman was singing too, and he knew his notes felt wrong...

He stopped, silenced, staring unbroken at the lovely singing specter
Blinded went bedazzled soon, and he fell enslaved, in love with her...

A few more steps and he held her, she sang and let him be
He framed her face and kissed her, she smiled and he could see...

A dream was duly born, his life turned over from night to day
And soon his wish was singly termed, that his crooning lady stay...

Haloed by the moon, the black man held his girl in red
Standing still no more, waltzing to her song instead...

A wave to the right, a twirl and a twist, fingers laced throughout
Eye to eye, dreamspun both, they whisked their way about...

Each step brought them closer by, till at last he breathed her breath
When damaged fate met fated life, and the scent at once turned death...

He held her closer, tried not to breathe, and waited for verve again
His dream was dying, too soon and fast, as if it was ever in vain...

He wished his love would see this too, and sigh them a saving whisper
And so he stayed, in love in her arms, a slave to his singing specter...

But the night proposed no novel fact, no grace to rescue love and lives
The woman closed her eyes and crooned, the man kept dancing her in strives...

And then a moment passed and two, and suddenly the mad moon exploded
Fragments showered the man in black, and touched the lady robe in red...

The fallen moon was theirs to keep, but wisdom came a shade too late
For no life yet had the lady breathed, and the man couldn't mend her broken fate...

And when the darkness returned, the black had bled to shining red
The red had rusted to scalded black, and the couple in arms was newly dead...

Monday, October 13, 2008

A Name To Call Me By...

Restless I rise, formless I fall
I am ugly and I make you cry
Your dams I break, your floods I stall
I am faceless... I'm the morning sky

Your friend in the dark, your foe before
I am a cherub you fail to hate
Your fire on the rocks, your moon on the shore
I am a nimbus... forever pregnant in state

Your canvas to colour, your tumbler to fill
I am a riddle you live and breathe
Your Sirius, your sun, your distant hill
I am vapor... and I never cease to seethe

Formless I fall, restless I rise
I am a djinn who drags you by
Your slave and your master, your constant guise
I am nameless... can you wonder why?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Back to Black

Here I am,
In your arms again...
The door was locked, but I was true
And here I am, I've come for you...
My dark heart bleeds, don't speak of him,
For here I am, and I've come for you...

You light yourself a cigarette
The day's last smoke, you say
You watch your demons rise
To where the angels sway

The sky is dying red
And the blue moon's shining through
It's darker than my heart
But I see the black in you...
So be my guest, let me fill your cup
And you'll know I am a raven too...

You smoke your rings of air
The sunset called, you say
You watch your angels die
And let the demons sway

You love me not, and you love me still
I could say that in the rain
Lurking close, by your window-sill
I could see you in your pain
So know I know, for know I do
That black is gold, and I know it's you...

You kill your stick and stop
The stars are stern, you say
You make your demons run
And have your angels stay

Here I am,
In your arms again...
The door was locked, but I was true
And here I am, I've come for you...
My dark heart bleeds, don't speak at all,
For here I am, and I've come for you...

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

A Journey to Blood and Beyond

New blood flowed, and a child was born
As the heart of life went heavier still
The sun came out, killed the dawn
And the tale-tip tore its vacant quill

Crisp and quick the morning went
The child unlearnt his worldly ways
A smile his world forever lent
To him as the dreamer dreamt his days...

Midmorning yawned, smiled and when
The hours slept, all snoring by
The boy woke up, ringed by men
In the garden of the tornado's eye

Higher rose the sun, firmer went its hue
Noon befell the stallions of the storm
The earth emerged in green and blue
Far more a presence, far more a norm

Quickly through evening these hours passed
The squall began to set the sun
And the boy now turned a man amassed
Who ate his toes while on the run

The sky turned sore, its wounds unlaced
The scarlet sun wept out its rust
The black of day to crimson raced
And the boy beheld his bleeding dusk

Wasted thus his heart would kneel
And pray for the dark of night
When the moon is new, and monsters squeal
When his scarring sky is out of sight

The end would come, the stars would show
The blood shall dry and be drunk
The door shall close and the sea shall grow
To where the ship is duly sunk

Sunday, October 5, 2008

To let it go... and let it be

No matter what, no matter where
No matter how much I try
I do it right, all sqaure and fair
And yet, alas, some demons don't die...

I trust, I believe, I let it be
I make it my vow not to break
I know, I learn, I beg to see
The line I walk, and barely shake

But no matter what, no matter where
No matter how much I cry
I end up wrong, all rent and bare
And yet, alas, my demons wont die...

I twist, I turn, I let it go
For I can fall and love you too
I know, I learn, I yearn to show
And I'll say it now: I'll see it through